Tadpoles no Longer!

It’s official. Having sailed across the equator, all those aboard are now shellbacks.

At 2300 hours local time, as Turtlebones approached the divide separating north from south, Bill and Shawn, who were each happily snoozing in their respective bunks, rose to join Sharon who was on watch.

Not only was the bubbly suitably chilled for the occasion, Neptune’s court was about to convene. Yes, the time had come for the tadpoles to answer for their various crimes and transgressions committed against Neptune and his realm.

No doubt there are many offences, humankind in general, and these sorry examples of their species, have perpetrated. Each having, of course, brazenly trespassed in the realm, and taken pigishly of sea’s great bounty. All the while, and thoughtlessly, they deposited quantities of human waste and other pollutants into the seas.  

Neptune demanded answers to the following specific charges.

Sharon: you did, on countless occasions, pollute the seas with great quantities of your hair. This, despite your particular knowledge of the grievous consequences that entanglement visits upon sea creatures.

And furthermore; you did invade the privacy, and indiscriminately spy on creatures of the sea, particularly whales, even while they were engaged in their most intimate acts, for your selfish, and possibly perverse, pleasure.

Shawn: while casting yourself in the guise of a painfully noble vegetarian, you did consume significant quantities of various sea creatures, repeatedly, without permission, or remorse. And, you enjoyed doing so, greatly.

And furthermore; in your misguided do-gooder zeal, you did interfere with baby turtles, causing them much distress and confusion, all in the pursuit of blogging glory.

Bill: you did take, without permission or compensation, creatures of the sea, and no doubt, would have taken many more, if not for your chronic ineptitude as a fisher.

And furthermore; you did, on numerous occasions, serveil and encouraged others to observe, great whales and other sea creatures, while exhibiting blatant disregard for their personal space, and without provision of satisfactory remuneration.

And furthermore: you did, provide an Apple iPhone to the whales visiting the Sea of Cortez, without offer them adequate instruction on its use, a charging device, or a paid-up data plan.  

Two members of the crew accepted their guilt unconditionally and were appropriately contrite. The other scallywag, offered endless flimsy rationalizations, and even attempted to claim their gross violations were somehow beneficial. The cheek! Neptune was not amused, but seemed in a forgiving mood.

With the formalities completed, Neptune was offered a wee slosh of bubbly. Then the newly minted shellbacks greedily swilled down the remainder. And, the contrite two toddled off back to their respective bunks.

Bill